Challenge Post #8
Knowing how to play is an important part of life. Being “child like” in very specific situations is a lot different from being childish.
Recently a young woman asked me what to do when marriage becomes boring. I smiled and asked if she “played” with her husband. She was horrified. “I don’t do those types of kinky things.”
I coughed. “I don’t either but I do revert to the child like romance we had when we were dating.”
“I don’t want a childish spouse – I want a man.”
I laughed….”I agree. But being relaxed enough to be a little silly and playful with your husband is not being childish.”
When a young couple is in love they do silly things that are often forgotten about when life becomes pressured or difficult. Things like tickling or holding hands can be very romantic. Ron would use his finger to write I love you! in the palm of my hand during church or lectures. I gently kicked him under the table. He threw fallen leaves at me and I tried to mess his hair. Returning to the innocence of being silly with your spouse can be extremely romantic.
Stop being so serious all the time. Stop following the movies that insist animalistic sex is good sex. Look for the simple ways to let your spouse know that you still find fun and pleasure in being with them. Wink, write love notes, fill your sentences with loving praise and find new ways to gently tease. Never become negative with teasing. Ron likes to tease me that I’m older than he is and I tease back that I’m also wiser. When I tell him I love him, he teases back by saying, “I can’t hear you….” When I’m almost screaming it, he laughs and whispers “I love you too.”
When you are in the bedroom, take the time to gaze into each other’s eyes, touch his face or just snuggle and talk about “why” you are in love. You’ll be surprised how quickly romantic love will return when you are playful.
Being playful in other areas of life is important as well. Knowing when and how to play with your child, teen or even adult children can foster deeper relationships. Being playful with friends can help you bond and feel comfortable sharing your secrets.
Yes, there is a time to be serious or reserved. Those times are easy to see. If you let people see the child in you once in a while, they will also see the beauty of your heart.
Right On Debbie! Playing in the way you describe it is essential for a love life that is “alive” not boring and holds our interest! Never let your special times and that look in you eye for them be something that they don’t recognize anymore.