I have always loved Christmas. I love all the traditions, the decorations and of course…..all the food. For the last 40 years I started planning for Christmas in early September. I didn’t decorate or get into the full swing until after Halloween but November 1st the fun began.
You might think that being fully invested in Christmas was due to a lifetime of fun Christmas mornings. I love my parents and I am honored that they were dedicated to the churches they pastored. However, like many pastors, they worked like crazy to give their congregations all sorts of holiday meetings. We had choir practice, kids programs and sunday school parties. We had gift exchanges, dinners with members and my favorite – caroling in the neighborhood. I loved all the things we did. I didn’t regret or hate any of it. Until….Christmas day. Mom and Dad slowly got out of bed. They made sure there were a couple of gifts for me. They watched me open them and maybe – if there had been time to shop – there was a gift for each other. After the gifts were opened, they went back to bed. I played by myself or watched TV. Mom made sandwiches for lunch and something simple for supper. Only a few times do I remember having a large meal or a turkey.
Don’t get me wrong. I know mom and dad were doing the best they could and they did more for me than a lot of other parents of that time could do for their children. I feel fortunate that the holiday season was spent remembering the most important reason for Christmas. We had church and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus was the most important thing in life. His gift to us – joining us here in this human experience – helped me to see Jesus in a different way. I respected him and wanted to follow him – but Christmas helped me to love him as my friend. Still, Christmas morning left me wanting more.
When I finally had my chance at “Christmas traditions” – I planned and worked and giggled my way through every tradition I thought was important. I decorated every corner of the house, made cookies and fixed big meals. On Christmas morning we had stockings from Santa (that everyone knew was me having fun) but we also read the full Christmas story and gathered around our spiritual Christmas tree. I made sure everyone knew the blessings of all the traditions of the holiday season – without making light of the real reason for Christmas.
And now this year…..
After 40 wonderful years full of Christmas traditions, this year…..I had none. This year I was back to spending it quietly with my parents. In November I had a cold that kept me from getting started on decorations. Then I hurt my foot and was in bed for two weeks waiting for the doctor to give me the okay to walk. But I was so far behind that it was hard to get the daily routine taken care of in order to decorate. I caught the flu and was in bed for three days. Dad had a bad episode and we spent nine hours in the emergency room. I took mom to the doctor with a bad rash and then had to do a follow up visit to the doctor with dad. By December 22 the only decoration in my house was a few lights on the tree by the door.
My mother-in-law, Helen, is the absolute best. I couldn’t love her any more than I already do. I respect and admire her. She has cancer and Ron is living in Iowa with her so she can stay in her home. It was my idea for all the kids to drive out and spend Christmas with Helen. I’m so glad I insisted and we were able to get everyone free of colds and out there. But….again….I stayed home with my parents for a low key, undecorated, no excitement Christmas. I put a small artificial tree up on Christmas eve. We didn’t open any presents on Christmas morning because we are going to wait for the family to get back and do it together. To top it off, I had severe jaw pain. Didn’t know if it was a bad tooth, my TMJ or an ear infection. With all offices closed I had to suffer through the day with tylenol.
Depressing huh?!? It was depressing until I read the Christmas story. I sat in the living room, teary eyed and missed my spiritual tree, my family and all the fun of the holidays. It was one of those awful times when I couldn’t even muster the strength to pray.
I believe that in our weakest moments the real Power of Heaven descends like a soft mist. It surrounds us and refreshes our spirit. I began to think about Jesus and how he felt about his earthly birth. I’ve heard preachers talk about all that he gave up to come to earth and all the splendor that humans experienced on the night he was born.
Softly and sweetly the thoughts entered my mind, “But how did he feel? The Son of God who had experienced every comfort, every joy and every desire….how was he doing as a totally dependent human? It’s one thing to lose the ability to satisfy your desires. It’s a totally different feeling to know that you have no power to do anything for yourself. How was he dealing with the change in temperature on his skin? How did it feel to know he couldn’t do anything for himself and that he had to rely on the talents of Mary and Joseph? While he may not have been worried – he was God after all – surely he felt a new sensation of dependence and doing without.
Then it struck me. A faint smile began to spread across my tear stained face. This year, it was the dependent Jesus that I needed. I felt as though I had either lost or given up everything that was dear at Christmas. I stood in front of my savior a sad, sick human who couldn’t change her circumstances and could only trust God for my care. The people I was with couldn’t take care of themselves much less give me a helping hand and I felt alone. I imagined standing in front of the manger and totally identifying with that dependent little babe.
So what did Jesus have? He had all the Power of Heaven. Just because he chose not to use it, didn’t mean it wasn’t real or wasn’t there. He chose to use that power in only one way – to calm his mind and to help him do what was right. That was all I really wanted. I didn’t want to change my parents or change my care for them. I didn’t want my family not to be with Helen. All I wanted was the power of Heaven to help me do the right thing.
I received my Christmas wish. In that very moment, I felt peace. I was able to cook a nice supper and find ways to deal with the day. I was able to laugh with my beautiful family when they called on face time. I handled the jaw pain until I could get to the doctor. I felt peace about not being with my family and I felt good about doing the right thing.
I know many of you are going through tough trials. You too may feel like the dependent baby Jesus and you may wonder how you can survive. I promise you that the power of Heaven isn’t just for miracles. The power of Heaven can calm your weary mind and heart and give you the strength you need to do the right thing.
That’s God’s Promise and all the Power of Heaven is there to back it up!