Should parents be responsible for their child’s on line presence?

Challenge Post #9

A Georgia appellate judge wrote an order today that the parents of a 7th grader would be held responsible for their son’s on line bullying.

Should parents be responsible for their child’s actions?  In it’s general form this issue has always caused parent’s to worry.  Once your child arrives at the age of accountability, they will make decisions without your knowledge.  Unfortunately, that age is a moving target.  When children enter pre-school they begin to interact with others.  In order for them to practice good behavior, they must be allowed to make small decisions about their friends.  That interaction often provides multiple chances for your child to break your rules.

When your child enters grammar school, they are provided many more chances to make choices that get them into trouble. More responsibility equals more chances to practice and fail.  Of course they also may make choices that would cause any parent to feel proud. When your child enters those teen years they are influenced by their peers. Those peers not only provide new information but they may also urge, push, and even shove your child into making bad decisions.

In other words, no matter how hard you try there will be times your child will make decisions that you disagree with. Many parents feel that they cannot be held responsible for their child’s actions or decisions.  That knowledge keeps the parent from intervention and many times from mentoring or teaching their child.

While I agree that  parents are not responsible for every bad decision their child makes, I do believe that we are accountable for how we teach our children.  Parents must be involved in the lives of their children. Parents have a responsibility to know where their child is, what they are doing, what they are listening to and who their friends are.  Parents should be involved in as many decisions as possible.  They should discuss how to make good decisions with their children.  The most important thing a parent can do is to bond with their child and show them by example how to be a good friend, a good citizen and a good person.  Parents have a responsibility to protect their children, but to also protect society from the mistakes of their children.

Without looking at any evidence in this case, I have one huge question.  Why didn’t this child know that on line or off line – it is wrong to hurt other people?  The fact that he was willing to hurt someone else speaks volumes about his in-home training.  For me, it’s not so much about what he did as it is about why he thought it was okay.

Don’t parent your children by mouth.  Parent them by your example and your training.  There is no perfect parent and no perfect child.  However, we must understand as parents that whatever we miss in our child’s training – that will eventually become a problem for our child.  Make sure you give your child good overall training.