October 12, 2014 – Challenge post #6
My life is filled with questions. I watch the news and wonder if we are in the end times. I watch bad parenting and wonder what the end result will mean to our society. I see large decoder maps in my head that connect all the parenting mistakes and society’s failures and I question what future generations will be. I watch my own family and imagine possible future problems. I wonder if they have all the tools they need or if I have helped them enough. Our society has moved away from comforting absolutes and into no boundary living that will end badly for individuals and for our society. Can I help? Should I help? How can I get people to think or listen or care or want a better life?
It is important to ask questions – a lot of questions. I believe questions are necessary for improvement and making good decisions. A life without questions is stagnant and bound for failure. Yet, the more I question the more fearful and nervous I become. I’ve always been a strong take charge person. I’m not controlling and I do listen to all sides. Once a decision is made I jump in with both feet and plow through whatever problems I face.
My children are staying with my parents and I’m on a little R&R with Ron. It’s been wonderful to see him and talk over our busy lives face to face. This morning I woke with a startling thought. I’ve become a whiny tearful person. While driving here and thinking about my life, I cried. When I saw Ron, I cried. When we went out with family, I cried. When I try to have a normal conversation, the topic works it’s way back to me and I cry.
Sounds like I’m depressed, but am I? I suffered with severe depression 25 years ago. I know what it feels like and that doesn’t seem to be my problem. I went to bed praying for clarity and I believe I’ve found it.
Humans never outgrow the need for security.
If you are like me and you want to understand the world so you can make it better – especially your small part of the world – You need to ask questions – but it’s just as important to feel secure. Questions are great. Questions must be answered so you can make decisions and move forward. But… [box] If your questions overwhelm your absolutes you will feel the mental pressure and you will become insecure, nervous and ineffective. [/box]
It is possible to survive long periods of insecurity. But…just like our children need to live in a secure environment, adults need the comfort of absolutes in order to withstand endless uncertainties within our society. In order to feel normal and in control of our own destiny, we need to sort of check off some areas of our life and be able to say, “That’s secure. That’s done. That will never change.”
Yes, change is a part of life but we need areas that we can count on. We need those absolutes in order to feel safe. Of course that’s not what contemporary society would like you to believe. They want you to think that nothing is absolute, everything is open to change and a truly normal person is okay with that. Baloney!
Floating along like a feather on a breeze is not only unproductive, it’s the most frustrating place on the planet. As you float you will see things you want. Because you have given in to the breeze, you float right past your desire and into an area of pain and suffering. “There’s nothing I could do about it. It just happened. I hate my life.”
[box] Questions and Absolutes are like conjoined twins that need each other in order to survive. [/box] I need questions to help me understand my environment and to be successful in the decision making process. I need absolutes to help me feel safe and to give me the courage to continue to try.
I made a list of some of my absolutes. I feel better. I feel encouraged. I am determined to try even harder to be successful.
What are your absolutes?