A close knit Family is your responsibility – not theirs!
Family will always care about you because of the “bloodlines” connection. But….being close knit is your responsibility. If you want to be close to your family, you must spend time caring about them, their needs and their life.
1. Call often. Every few days or at least once a week.
2. Stop talking about yourself and ask about them. If something is important to them, it should be important to you.
3. Forgive the fact that they aren’t you. You are related – not identical soul twins. You should be different. Your personalities, likes and dislikes will be different. Even if you have to back away from some conversations, do it with kindness and love.
4. Look for differences that will help you to be proud of them and promote them to friends. Ex. “I love the creative spirit of my sister. She can take risks that would scare me.”
5. Always believe the best.
6. Develop good communication so they will allow you to talk about the worst.
7. Treat them BETTER than you would treat a friend. Let them know that they are more important than anyone else.
8. Always be on their side – even if you disagree. Let them know that the world will have to go through you to get to them.
9. Realize that every family has a few nuts and you may be one of them.
10. ALWAYS take their calls or read their e-mails. Even if you are in a meeting, they should be the first one you call back. Always respond to them as quickly as possible.
11. Never insist that they take your advice. Develop communication and a relationship that helps them “want” to hear your opinion but allow them the right to make their own decisions even if you feel they are wrong.
12. If you live out of town, make time to go see them. Relationships need personal one on one time.
13. Don’t be an enabler of bad behavior. Likewise….don’t be a stingy scrooge that never invests financially in your family. Remember Birthdays, Christmas and other special days. Anyone can make the time to visit the dollar store and send a 50 cent card. You can make something even if it’s a card. Most people can purchase a small gift and include a note that affirms your love. Don’t cheap out on family. They need your support even if it’s small. Whatever you do, make sure it says “I love you enough that I took the time to do something special for you. I thought ahead and made time for you.” Sending a Facebook congrats at 10pm is a cop out. It didn’t cost you anything and it wasn’t pre-planned.
14. End every conversation with “I Love you.” Think about what that means and be ready to act on it.
15. Even if you have been apart or arguing for a long time, sign on for a “Long term” approach to repairing your relationship. The bonds weren’t broken over night – they won’t be repaired overnight. Be the person that never gives up and continue to try to be as close as possible to those you love.